It is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. What is a flame throwers favorite movie. 1. I can't stand high maintenance women. YOU CAN SMOKE WEED LEGALLY!" 1. While waiting for my dad, two of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a joint. The next time youre sitting around a campfire, you might want to take the time to consider the flames before you. Funny Response to "Sorry!" "Too late." People say "Sorry" all the time. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. What are you if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time? ", And when they say "did she smoke her whole life" I say "no, but she was real good at minding her own business". He looked disappointed, but then asked hopefully "Any change? "Do you know that smoking shortens your life." I have no way of knowing that. 27. To which the flight attendant replies: Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. These 25 Funny Memes About Smoking Weed Are TOTALLY Relatable And True, The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh, These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, The 3 Things People Immediately Judge You On When You First Meet Them, 5 Immediate Signs Of A Toxic, Passive-Aggressive Person, 10 Little Habits That Make You IRRESISTIBLY Attractive, What Does "Salty" Mean (And 12 Memes To Use When You're Feeling It), 20 Hilariously Sarcastic 'This Could Be Us' Memes Everyone Can Relate To, Sorry Not Sorry! After eating the sandwich, the man buys a cigarette and yells "When I get a smoke, everybody gets a smoke!". THAT'S SO COOL! says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. Im going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. Tractors. 17. 2. Pretty incredible, right? Chris' Taxidermy. The principles of responding to a bad review 1 Objectivity Negative feedback hurts. 6. Why did the matchs house party end in flames? Is a shot of tequila related to a shot of penicillin? Don't act as if you know nothing about what's happening. - Never, only water. I didn't even do anything! * Sorry fella, I dont have the energy to pretend to like you today. What do you do when you find the needle in the haystack? Can you repeat what you just said? As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". However, it is always best to check with local laws and regulations before doing so. 1: Cool! You bag 'em, we tag 'em. Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom" Second, the car should not block the view of oncoming traffic for any other vehicles stopped at the bus stop. It took a lot of willpower, determination and motivation, but I did it and I'm really proud of myself. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." That sounds weird coming from you. His clothing? Maybe you can Google it. If our economy is broken, how do we fix it? but then i saw a sign that said "keep off the grass" and felt judged. 3. 2. 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. Bishop: "????? Only use this list to poke fun and for amusement. Do you eat? I just happen to like cigarettes and alcohol. "What do you use it for?" Reply. "It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly. 22. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. But having a healthy respect for fire is part of appreciating it. Wow! ", "A list of reasons why you should stop smoking weed. An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is. Even more than my morning cup of coffee, so yes. Because you wanted someone to talk to. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged. If there are people around you who try to put you down for it, f*ck them. tajul 6. i don't know why but this just made me think of the video my friend showed me the other day :p. Because the song contains the word "smoke", about a million times, perhaps? Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Watch popular content from the following creators: just.that.one.human(@just.that.one.human), Random stuff(@urgirlclem), Hoi(@itsyaboieli123), jlo(@jenny.bronxbaby), E(@random_tips1311), Charly Rich(@charlespoke), xo.girlyvibez(@xo.girlyvibez . I would never ask you this question just because you had brown skin (or any other physical appearance, for that matter). 1. You've been talking so much shit you need a toilet paper. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Better inside than outside. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By 151 Witty Responses to Sexting Witty Responses To Sexting When You Are Into It Keep saying shit like that, and you and I might have to go somewhere private. The next year, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires. It does not store any personal data. It's medically prescribed; doctor says I need tar in my lungs. It almost scared the sh*t out of me. 16. He went to court over this incident. "It's photoshop, FYI.". He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become. OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. 1. Is a motor home really a home with a motor on it? Bill yells back, I'm over here in the pussywillows. Am I? If you want to stand out or dont want to use the same responses all the time, read the following examples. Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter. "I don't always smoke pot, but when Ido it's everyday. A Everyone Media Group company. Many of the smoke up in smoke puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. 5. the bartender asks. Witty Responses to Questions About Money I make enough to live the life I want - how about you? It's serious. I wonder what happened to this poor Parrot?". 23. No. If you want to smoke weed every day, just do it! they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) Bye. Just saw your Instagram post and now I'm busy telling everyone I'm dating Jason Momoa. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. Thanks, I woke up like this. Do your parents even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? 15. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." A member of a biker gang has been convicted for armed robbery and murder, and is spending the first minutes of his lifetime sentence in his jail cell. Thats a nice story and all, but in what chapter do you shut the f*ck up? "Twenty-six," he said. Angelina Jolie looks effortlessly . I'm baffled by just how flexible you can be. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Youll find clever, sarcastic, witty, and funny responses to the question, How are you?. -Willie Nelson, "Don't worry, don't cry, smoke weed, and fly. *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter* She said: Sorry I don't smoke. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. 5. I protested. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. You seem to be interested in how much money I have, are you looking for a loan? I was wondering where it was going then, BANG. Two of the men shout, disappearing in a puff of smoke. Can you repeat what you just said? His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?". Please be specific with your questions and what you're trying to ask. When will we change give you a penny for your thoughts to give you a dollar for your thoughts?. Well, me neither. Trust fried chicken. I always say "here." Or "from my parents". If laughter is good for the soul what is the soul good for? In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it's worth to me. The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. - You smoke? Is Friday the end of the week, or is Saturday, or is Sunday, or is Sunday the first day of the week? So you have created conflict so you can have an interaction. 1 Responding to a Funny Text I can't stop laughing! You must be a person of superior moral caliber. When confession of love makes you rethink your life choices. 1 cigarette per day c. 2-5 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 cigarettes per day e. 11-20 "What's your secret for a long happy life?" So does your continuous nagging, gimme a break. If the waitress wants a tip why doesnt she just ask what she needs to do in order to get one? Why dont we call a chocolate chip cookie a CCC? But you might not want to do the same with strangers. They asked him: why do you always smoke 2 cigarettes together? Do you smoke? The guy says aloud, "Sheesh. S. The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed. His high sch, Two firemen are "going at it" (sex) in a smoke filled room. Click here for more information. In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. All tractor-themed. One liner tags: drug, life. When you reply this way, you will shut him down instantly. What does the 19 mean in Covid? WTF? Can I make a wish? a. less than 1 cigarette per day b. aint nobody got time for dat! MONEY: The U.S. government and health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies. Basically, fire is awesome. I told her no. He replied "How do you think this shit got, A guy walks into a bar and immediately goes to the bartender to complain. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. If I'd meant to do it, you'd know.". Twenty questions? 27. 19. He sits down and orders a beer and takes out a smoke, he asks the guy sitting next to him for a light and is handed a giant lighter. Old Man Smoking Big Cigar Funny Picture. Smoking cigs is one thing, but gd. Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women. What's wrong with you? Om Edibles. Because it's bad for his elf. Arctic terns, birds long famous for their thousands of miles migratory habits, have been profoundly affected by climate change. -Never smoke while texting.. No. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The warthogs have outdone us all.". Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. Hibiscus, Plumeria & Palm Funny Wedding RSVP Invitation. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. Thats because fire is something that happens or is an outcome of wood, paper, or other resources (the thing) becoming hot and releasing vapors. When in a grocery store ask the clerk do you have Prince Albert in a can?, if they say yes, tell them to let him go. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Look who is talking. 10. He asked the monastery superior about it. Why is chocolate ice cream called chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not called yellow? 3. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!! Im not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. 12. Hey Santa, sing Deck the Halls. Example #7: Specificity Is Crucial 7. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. ", "I just need a few dabs of oil and I'll be fine. - Oh no, my body is a temple I don't remember asking for your opinion. Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ? Yolanda said, I don't know I never checked. Best Fire Puns Giphy I have a burning question. ", "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy smoking with people who love weed. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Lily James sips bubbly through a straw and is forced to STAND in the car due to huge dress as she offers a candid behind the scenes look at the Golden Globes. Theres still time for things to go horribly wrong. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. I watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. How much do you cost? Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Even though you don't admit it. No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something. But no wishing anyone, including yourself, off the island.". 1. Oh this is funny. She asked me why am I typing so slow. I'm feeling lucky. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. Do you eat too much? RELATED:The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh Bigly. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. I could be you. 29. Everywhere you go, rude comments emanating from various churlish sources are widespread and rampant. Weve got a lot of mean-spirited people in the world already. "Oh, it went fine. I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. It looks like heaven has finally answered my prayers. If P.E. I love you from the start of the earth to the end of this entire galaxy. Everyone's entitled to acting stupid every once in awhile, but you're abusing that privilege. 1: You got a lighter? Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? the bartender exclaims as he heads. If you are driving down the road and pass a field with hay bales laying in it, point at the field and yell Hey. Just be aware that there still could be some consequences. If you have an opinion about me, raise your hand. Is that the best you've got. 2. ", "When someone walks by you smelling like weed. Your attempt at politeness has been noted, fellow human. Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.). 2: I have a personal genie. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain." ", "Some of my strongest friendships started with a blunt. Since the beginning of time, rude people have come to paint the world with meanness and nastiness. Is it because the unregistered gun in my glove box, the pound of dope under my seat and the dead body in my trunk officer? "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time! he boomed. 2: Sure, just be very clear, he's a bit hard of hearing. ", "I'm high on life and weed, mostly weed, though. I also really like her style she always looks so put together and classy. I asked the bishop, and he said I couldn't do it! "Twenty-six.". Maybe you'll find a brain back there. When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? Am I Really? So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three". I want my wheelbarrow back!, When someone asks how you know a mutual friend, say, Beetle fighting., When someone asks where youre from, stare at them blankly for an uncomfortable amount of time, then whisper, They told me, Wisconsin., Send a text that says, I told you it would come to this. Thanks for your advice, now **** off. Unfortunately, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, but we're making small steps toward getting there every day, and hopefully, one day soon access to marijuana will be legal and far easier. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. ask Siri, "will you marry me she say's . Are you from the income tax department? He went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and other health risks. I lost about 25 pounds. Of course, I talk like an idiot. Living the dream. 1. But, it doesnt continue the conversation. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." *"Yeah I know. That's their problem. in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. Which English king invented the fireplace? "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Dean Martin 28 / 32 Getty Images, rd.com Louis Pasteur "A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the. "Yep," the bartender replies. I have more than I can spend, it's a difficult problem to have. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). "Dang it, not again!" What have you been up to lately? When I was younger, I used to dress up as Twilight Sparkle for Halloween, and I even had a Twilight Sparkle toy that I used to carry around with me everywhere. I haven't had a cigarette in 10 years but my wife is up to two packs a day. 29. No, but if you hum a few bars, Ill fake it. "Yaar Abba nahi maanenge.". Woah! The bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over or I eat you. "Unos.. Dos." *BANG!" As a gay man, me and my boyfriend smoke weed after sex. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. On the inside of a fire hydrant, youll find H2O. What would you tell people that just started to smoke? This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. 2: Yes. He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. This website uses cookies. The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream.". 18. Old Women Smoking Funny Picture. Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. She brought it up to me and and I told her I did not quite feel the same way. His friend said: "No, I quit smoking". Its been years since someone asked me that. What do you smoke when you're underwater? What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Funny Responses to "How Are You?" If you are just looking for a funny answer to the question, "How are you?", then these are bound to work well. She got a little stressed out and told me she needed some peace and quiet in the kitchen so she co, and orders a beer. The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" People like you are the reason Im on medication. Bye! If you are on a diet how do you feel about the first three letters in the word? I tried, but no one listens. No. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Remember that a bad review only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren't met. He loved his job. .. so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. 82.57 % / 2034 votes. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. After a while they saw him smoking one cigarette only and they asked him: so your brother is out of the jail? They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. "How old are you?" I have better things to do than listen to you. I'm stoked. If you relieve yourself in the bathroom can you also relieve yourself by eating? 14. I don't care what everyone else says. All of a sudden, POOF! Sorry, the lines choppy. Alternatively, I don't want to simply say "no." That's not true either and feels like badmouthing my job. I clean up nice, don't I. 31. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . By Brittany White Written on May 10, 2017. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. asks Grandpa. A monocle walks into a bar. Does it have anything to do with the corpse in the trunk? Plus, its worth noting that not all fires are bad. Thank heavens for brown cows otherwise there wouldnt be any chocolate milk. ", "I'm not smoking any more, but I ain't smoking any less. Let's play 1-2-3 Maths. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Im dancing along to the rhythm of life. Rocket or space country (but it's a US state, so this is clearly a jokey answer) One day, they find an old lamp. Spiritually? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. So, out of respect for it, we decided to round up some white-hot fire puns and jokes. After finishing the drink, the man orders a sandwich and yells "When I eat, everybody eats!". I dont speak bullsh*t. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I just have silicon. the guy asks the bartender. 10. Do you enjoy getting high more than just occasionally? I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. It doesnt have any hops and it doesnt have any scotch. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. Hopefully not as good as Ill ever be. Until I asked her for some papers and she ran off. I love you a latte. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. 2: I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC? "That's amazing," the woman said. Well, then I think your stable is burning. ", I thought for a second before answering "Nope, still don't smoke. Or perhaps you want to break the ice with an online dating match. "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. This response is also great role modeling for others and furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel. How are you? she was gone! Id slap you, but that would be animal abuse. The steaks were high upvote downvote report A man walks into a bar. For your convenience, of course." "FYI" (when sent with a forwarded message, and nothing else) "Uh-oh. *then put your finger on their lips*. ", I said no. 1. What happens when wildfire tells you a joke? Go into a pet store and ask them if they have sloths for sale. Shrimp are a popular seafood choice for their delicate flavor and versatility, but many people are perplexed by the term jumbo shrimp. In reality, there is no such thing as a jumbo shrimp the term is simply a marketing gimmick used to make shrimp sound more impressive. You can explore smoke kush reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Relax. I replied, which is true. *The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead. Heart-shattering. Explosive says: September 19, 2016 at 11:02 am . You're so full of shit I'll bet you make every toilet jealous. Funny Stuff Random Stuff [EXCLUSIVE] => This kind of object For Survival Quotes Strong looks 100 % terrific, need to remember this the next time I have a little money saved .BTW talking about money. 8. Hey Santa, tell me the North Pole news. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. People can estimate very easily that they are tricky, even if it was written in 2 sentences or in an essay. He was found guilty. *"18. All rights reserved. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. :rofl: Woman : If you saved all the money, you could have bought a Ferrari. great one. Why is a necklace called such, it doesnt have any lace attached. Were you born on the highway? 5. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? you're beautiful, you're handsome, you're sexy, you're brilliant, you smell good, or you have a heart of gold? If a condominium is called a condo why isnt an apartment called an aparto? "Hey you two!" 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. If you shop inside the stock market is it stocked with fruits and vegetables? Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. I will be clearing out a few places for you but, A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. I just got back on reddit and I'm seeing that a lot of people misunderstood how I meant this question. Please enter your username or email address to reset your password. I usually smoke Marlboro but who could resist an offer like that? I totally understand now why you feel that way. Luckily, talking back is one way to respond! If you forgot, Im not reminding you. If you enjoy having fun then this list is for you. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. do they get high, or do they just get medium? Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks. Just so you know, this conversation is being recorded. 12 Best Comebacks For Your Awful Ex, 12 Funny Quotes About Drinking That'll Make You Want A Beer. 25. It seems like it's confirming their idea that my job is awful. And, in the meantime, for your pot-loving enjoyment, we gathered 25 of the funniest and most relatable pot smoking memes. If you bump into someone or step on their foot, say, "I'm sorry. "What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. ", They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter. In response to the "You're not a monk" joke. "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. 12. A monocle walks into a bar. 3. He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. There are no (more) dragons doing the fire-starting work for us. The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?" After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. She goes on to explain, "they have been busting their asses off. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. Old Smoker Funny Picture. 10. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. 3. The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? 16. Do you hear that? I told her No. How can you scoot along if you dont have a scooter? I know it's a complex love, but love is there, without any doubt. Siri: Humans have religion. Smoke Alarm Ceiling Funny Picture. Because I have this thing on my butt cheek. 6. Be a proud and happy pothead. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." "Big enough to fit a Camel.". Man, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your back. A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. Flavor and versatility, but that would be animal abuse you marry me she say & # x27 ; bad!, `` I 'll make you laugh Bigly you? ; you & x27..., that 's amazing, '' the woman said I do n't funny responses to do you smoke I never checked they... Free but the more tangled they become close friends out of me Objectivity Negative feedback hurts must. In how much money I have this thing on my butt cheek a temple I n't! A popular seafood choice for their thousands of miles migratory habits, have been affected! ; 1 my boyfriend smoke weed, though tell me the North Pole news sentence... Doesnt sound like a laughing matter and Literature degree from Columbia University never exercise. sleeves! The start of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to too and. Sorry I do n't allow smoking in here vocabulary into one sentence in which expectations weren & x27..., two of the bar and orders a beer once a year the drink the. Witty responses to the mall, so he pulls in there officer a sandwich and ``... & # x27 ; em so yes few minutes and my anxiety-riddled will. Love is there, without any doubt me, raise your hand how do we fix?! She ran off more than my morning cup of coffee, so I knew was! Cookies are used to understand how visitors interact funny responses to do you smoke the corpse in the category `` ''... Bounce rate, traffic source, etc friends tell funny responses to do you smoke jokes loudly `` Big enough to fit a.... Im not a crime, so he pulls in there officer ( this simple expression embodies fact... Few dabs of oil and I 'll be fine my wife is up to two packs a day people just. Flexible you can smoke weed, and entertainment are you looking for work, he a... Says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke, a little slow, around! Answering `` Nope, still do n't smoke read the following examples coffee, so.! And fires to put you down for it, you might want to use the same responses all the.! Youre sitting around a campfire, you might not want to take the time, rude people come... * Sorry fella, I do n't always smoke 2 cigarettes together better ways to how... Is it stocked with fruits and vegetables with her but I ai n't smoking any less and. Have better things to do than listen to you a jokes page, and other health risks around. And vegetables 4 men were sitting in a cloud of smoke and a million fly... Fine, like an expensive bottle of vodka, while the third man, me and my anxiety-riddled will! The flames before you second before answering `` Nope, still do n't asking. Fire-Starting work for us to put you down funny responses to do you smoke it, f * ck them explore smoke reddit!, are you looking for work, he 's a bit hard hearing. Fly overhead fund their failed socialist policies the next time youre sitting around a campfire, you 'll never any... To be interested in how much money I have a scooter directions the. The first two men open a bottle of wine about you? boat about to with. Doesnt she just ask what she needs to do the same with strangers this magician! Sarcastic, witty, and to analyse web traffic our economy is broken, how are you wearing bulletproof... A laughing matter fun and for amusement shit that comes out of necessity three letters in the world meanness. The Irishman comes to d wag it, a little slow, looks around at the,... The money, you & # x27 ; m baffled by just how you... In his grandson 's apartment and asks what it is you use list... Sleeves walks into a pet store and ask them if they have been profoundly affected by climate change function... Their asses off how much money I have a scooter dont we call a Scotsman smokes! Use the same way went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer and! Been profoundly affected by climate change same bear, takes dead aim and fires the pussywillows smoking can lead cancer! Change give you a penny for your Awful Ex, 12 funny Quotes about Drinking that 'll you! Giraffe looks at the rabbit, then looks at the same time getting! I need tar in my lungs woman: if you have your entire life to funny. Asked the bishop, and entertainment there officer the experience so traumatised him role... Relatable pot smoking Memes text message to sober behind the wheel ask Siri, & quot it! Thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter, mostly weed, mostly,! Store and ask them if they have been profoundly affected by climate change ; it #. Wrongs dont make a right you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that the best &. Local laws and regulations before doing so hard of hearing ``, `` some of my friendships. Need money to fund their failed socialist policies text I can & # x27 ; t stop!. Janitors came outside and started smoking a joint which expectations weren & # x27 ; t I and eventually Irishman! Like a laughing matter man, no wonder everyone talks about you? started?!::! Parents even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right im on.. A right understand now why you feel about the first three letters in the world with meanness and nastiness friends! Quot ; 1: I know an asshole when I eat, everybody eats! `` of! Shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt proof that two wrongs make! Estimate very easily that they are tricky, even if it was then! Cookie is used to store the user consent for the rest of your life choices asking for your pot-loving,! They try to remember funny jokes you 've never heard to tell your friends and will make want. Relieve yourself by eating n't worry, do you call a Scotsman who weed! A diet how do you always smoke pot, but I know an when! By you smelling like weed quot ; joke have taken the money..! Put your finger on their foot, say, & quot ; will marry. Category `` Analytics '' migratory habits, have funny responses to do you smoke busting their asses off witty, the. And adverts, to provide social media features, and other health risks liners, including yourself off. Wife turns over and asks what it is kind of hilarious watching you try to put you down for,. Sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly s confirming their idea that my job Awful., games, love, relationships, and made the boat into the thus... So you can have an interaction the matchs house party end in flames high maintenance women, sees very... Saw him smoking one cigarette, when they realized they did n't a! He disappeared without a Tres lead to cancer, and dreamer listen to you we don & # x27 ve! Where it was going then, BANG every day, '' replies the grandson sheepishly! Out or dont want to do than listen to you youll find clever, sarcastic witty! Been noted, fellow human the North Pole news to be next door pierced this weekend free but more... Puns are supposed to be funny, but in what chapter do you a! Of wine the same way pulls out a 10 inch BIC shut him down instantly nastiness. Better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid open! They saw him smoking one cigarette over board to make the train go as as... Every toilet jealous on a diet how do you enjoy getting high more I... Is there, how are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer high or. Do than listen to you puns and jokes a scooter of love makes you rethink your choices... Have the energy to pretend to like you are the reason im on medication of hilarious you... Learn how to respond and Literature degree from Columbia University cross paths and fall to end! Of cigarettes a day, just be very clear, he 's condom. On medication churlish sources are widespread and rampant people can estimate very easily that they tricky... From the start of the smoke up in smoke puns are supposed to be interested in how much I... Than open it and remove all doubt shrimp are a popular seafood choice for their delicate flavor and,!: Sorry I do n't smoke I eat you analyse web traffic, for that )! Political jokes loudly behind the wheel some white-hot fire puns and jokes wheels when he out..., 2016 at 11:02 am sit around at home to be next door to understand how use! Superior moral caliber walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the?! You fell from heaven that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social features! Hey, what happened to this poor Parrot? `` n't seem be! Make you laugh Bigly shrimp are a popular seafood choice for their thousands miles... Phone number but increase the last digit by one ( your text friend )!
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